My friend was noticeably troubled when she told me how her grandson had been bullied on his junior high school campus. The tormentor had slammed a locker door into her grandson’s head—for the fun of it. The victim’s mother was not notified by the school or by a teacher. Why? It is against the school district’s rules to notify parents after a child is targeted. Some sort of privacy policy, I assume. The mother of the bullied boy only found out because her son was open enough to tell her. If he had not shared this frightening episode with his mom, she would never have known or been able to help him.
Something sure feels wrong here. The deep ache of childhood intimidation can prove to be unbearable. How many times do we have to hear of suicides or murders being committed by kids who have “suddenly” flown into a rage after years of bullying? Don’t certain discrete elements of society have a duty to address this distressing situation? Certainly, the solution must start within individual family units: building character, honor, and integrity in our children; teaching them confidence through self-defense—both verbal and physical; providing them a reporting plan so that they never feel they are treading water alone; and more.
But shouldn’t our family units be working with and enjoying the support of our school districts, teachers, and school counselors, as well? The most alarming aspect of bullying is the overwhelming effect it has on our children. But bullies will benefit if they learn from all of us that they will suffer consequences for their aggressive actions. And the bullied will benefit if they learn from all of us that justice is alive and well in their young world and that there is assistance available when a crisis develops that is bigger than they can handle by themselves.
I remember days when parents, teachers, and schools were on the same side, supporting each other in influencing the character of a budding generation. Those are comforting memories. I hope that the ideas of instilling decency and protecting innocent victims eventually pierce through our modern mindset and once again enjoy the warmth of myriad sunbeams on their skin.
Nesta Aharoni, CBC Book Awards, Character Building Counts, www.CBCAwards.com, deadline for 2012 contest is 10/31/12.